My Hairless Kiwis
I was in the UK recently, and in various magazines I saw this ad, which I thought was a) rather amusing and b) about bloody time.
If you are having trouble making it out, it's two kiwi fruit, one hairy, one hairless. And the product being promoted is the Phillips Bodygroom. A shaver designed for men to trim "wherever you want".
While I don't subscribe to the concept of complete hairlessness, I do think a little judicious trimming is essential for today's man. I'm not terribly hirstute, so we're not talking tufts of chest hair peeking over the collar, or a back rug here. But I like to keep it all shipshape.
It began as a little experimentation about 5 or 6 years ago. The chest hair needed a trim. I was well into the gym and weights at that time, and pec definition looks better without the hair obscuring it. I know. So vain!
But I was not content with that, and attention started to drift south.
So I ended up with the porn star shave. I admit, it seemed a bit odd at first, but hey, if the ladies could have a brazilian or a hollywood, then in the interests of sexual equality, I can get into a bit of topiary trimming too!
It would appear I am not alone. According to the Phillips website, nearly 50% of British men have "had a go".
So I am mystified as to why my friends think I'm a wierdo. They think it's hilarious, and completely unnecessary. My arguments? That it adds that "optical inch", and that it has to be more pleasant for the opposite sex. Doesn't it? No more picking pubes out of your teeth, and am I the only one who thinks a thick bush retains more unpleasant odour?
My initial weapon of choice was a beard trimmer - there was no fancy Phillips product in them days. But even that after a while did not suffice. Instead of a nice smooth finish, it was stubbly. Not the look (or feel) I was going for.
So out came the wet razor. It was a little worrisome initially, but after 5 years of coating my nads in shaving foam it's become second nature. Generally once a week keeps the 5 o'clock shadow at bay. I have let it grow out a couple of times, and now it just doesn't seem right.
If you want to check out a how-to, here you go. Definitely not work safe. Unless you work at Vivid Video that is. In which case, can I have a job please?
If you are having trouble making it out, it's two kiwi fruit, one hairy, one hairless. And the product being promoted is the Phillips Bodygroom. A shaver designed for men to trim "wherever you want".
While I don't subscribe to the concept of complete hairlessness, I do think a little judicious trimming is essential for today's man. I'm not terribly hirstute, so we're not talking tufts of chest hair peeking over the collar, or a back rug here. But I like to keep it all shipshape.
It began as a little experimentation about 5 or 6 years ago. The chest hair needed a trim. I was well into the gym and weights at that time, and pec definition looks better without the hair obscuring it. I know. So vain!
But I was not content with that, and attention started to drift south.
So I ended up with the porn star shave. I admit, it seemed a bit odd at first, but hey, if the ladies could have a brazilian or a hollywood, then in the interests of sexual equality, I can get into a bit of topiary trimming too!
It would appear I am not alone. According to the Phillips website, nearly 50% of British men have "had a go".
So I am mystified as to why my friends think I'm a wierdo. They think it's hilarious, and completely unnecessary. My arguments? That it adds that "optical inch", and that it has to be more pleasant for the opposite sex. Doesn't it? No more picking pubes out of your teeth, and am I the only one who thinks a thick bush retains more unpleasant odour?
My initial weapon of choice was a beard trimmer - there was no fancy Phillips product in them days. But even that after a while did not suffice. Instead of a nice smooth finish, it was stubbly. Not the look (or feel) I was going for.
So out came the wet razor. It was a little worrisome initially, but after 5 years of coating my nads in shaving foam it's become second nature. Generally once a week keeps the 5 o'clock shadow at bay. I have let it grow out a couple of times, and now it just doesn't seem right.
If you want to check out a how-to, here you go. Definitely not work safe. Unless you work at Vivid Video that is. In which case, can I have a job please?
posted by Mr Bore at 11:53 AM
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