Singabore

Heavy Rotation....

2006-06-17T10:22:00.000+08:00

There's always a bloody song. Always a song...

New Snow Patrol album, bloody brilliant! Fab!

Anyway, as usual there's just that one song that get's to me... and here it is in all it's cut-n-pasted-lyrics-on-a-blog-naffness:

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

A Good Start Then...

2006-06-16T14:58:00.000+08:00

So I seem to have annoyed a few people - Mia rightly points out that I haven't read her archives for the last few months, and protests that she has indeed changed. Mia my dear when I find a few spare mins I will indeed go through the archives and discover what it is you have done and learnt.

DGNYHK doesn't think that the point of a blog is to change. But I am not talking about blogs, I am talking about life, and whether we like it or not, we all change eventually.

Anyway, crazy crazy busy. So dear readers, sorry for annoying you, and I am sure there will be more annoyances to come, and plenty more bores...

Retro Bore....

2006-06-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

Yeah well so I was on Mininova like, right? The other day, like? Just noodling away thinking of what I could nab off the old torrents.

And lo and behold I find this:

So of course I'm grabbing the first season, just for old times' sakes. I am positive that I will not even get past the first episode, as I seem to recall the production quality was just fucking awful: it must have been , as I recall as a young 'un making our own Blakes 7 weapons from empty Sellotape rolls, toilet roll tubes and a couple of erasers. And apparently that's how they made the actual weapons for the show! Well, maybe.

From Wikipedia:

"Blake's 7 was also arguably unique in TV SF in that it had a major influence on written SF, with the revival of written space opera in the '90s coming from the UK at the hands of writers such as Stephen Baxter, Alastair Reynolds, and Iain M. Banks. These authors are all of the generation that watched Blake's 7, and their work features morally ambivalent, often sarcastic and driven characters, whose usually violently-terminated lives are spent in vast and baroque spacecraft."

As a fan of Banks, Baxter and Reynolds' work, I find this strangely reassuring.

Link Check...

2006-06-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

Have been having a look through my Blogroll - I haven't visited most of these sites for at least a six months. Some have disappeared, and I clearly need to do some work over at Blogrolling when I find a little time. Some have metamorphosed completely - such as Flying Chair, who is now Flagrant Harbour. I should add that I actually know Phil from way back in the day when I used to stalk the streets of Central and the Fong, so it's nice to see him up and running again, and that he got himself a 360. Will have to get online one day and kick his arse at... well just about anything really.

Hongkie Town continues to amaze me with his stubborn addiction to his crack of choice. I would have hoped that after a year he might have gotten tired of the Wanchai/Filipina/Indonesian scene, but apparently not, and he seems stuck on a permanent spin cycle.

The thing is, I really did expect to return to reading my favourite blogs and find that things had changed. But in most cases the big wheel keeps on turning (paraphrasing Massive Attack there, whose new material I eagerly await!), it seems, and we revert to type, to the life we are perhaps destined to live. Again, heading over to Mia's, I am somewhat dismayed that nothing has changed, at least outwardly, for the last year or so.

Which leads me to think, have I changed? Well yeah, and no. Some circumstances in my life have changed, I do more of this, I have more of that, I have less, or even none, of the other. But fundamentally I make the same mistakes over and over again, and yes, my wheel just keeps on turning.

Of course for some lucky sods it seems their wheel is running full fucking tilt down Everest - or perhaps I should say, up? I headed over to Jason's site last night, Jason has to be one of the wittiest bloggers out there, and lo and behold, not only has he landed himself a book deal, but fuck me sideways, a TV deal also! Go and check it out!

Anyway, really a post about nothing, just some random observations...

Will try and get back into the swing of things gradually, hopefully can manage at least a post a day even with my current workload, which is getting quite heavy man! Which reminds me, they are showing The Young Ones on BBC Prime at the moment, WTF happened to Nigel Planer?

Also on BBC Prime, Rock School - fucking great idea! Love it! The only show I *have* to make sure I watch at the moment.

In Reverse Order Please...

2006-06-14T09:49:00.000+08:00

So I think I will start with the easy stuff first, coward that I am.

I've gotten into the gym in a major way since we last spoke. I'm hitting the gym by the office 5 times a week, for about 90 mins each time - a 30 min cardio session, usually on the recumbent bike, and then 45 mins strength, usually with free weights. I am definitely looking better, slimmer, and more toned - it's great if your a narcissist, which of course I am!

Having just moved jobs (of which more some other day) I have also moved gyms recently, which is causing me some anguish. Firstly, the changing rooms are tiny! Now I have no problem with either being naked around other men, or other men being naked around me. Just don't stare is the rule I live by.

However in changing rooms as tiny as these - and we are talking about a whole area about the size of my bedroom - it is very very tight, and when peak hour hits, well, it is inevitable that there is going to be some accidental skin-on-skin contact. And I just can't handle it! I wind up getting, well, wound up, and feeling really quite aggressive.

Aggression which I then take out on the free weight stacks. The only problem with my new place is that now they have switched all the free weights to kilograms. Now I am all for a metric system - the imperial system is arcane and just really abstract IMO. We've all gone metric - well apart from the Seps, with their American Exceptionalism, but WTF let them deal with how many ounces in a pound, gives them something to do while getting obese and watching Oprah eh?

My problem is that I am so used to benching and squatting pounds that it's quite depressing to be on kilos now - it's only psychological I know, but it looks on paper (and I keep meticulous Excel records of my weights, reps and sets) like I am lifting half the weight now.

Anyway I am sure I will get over this, with good counseling.

My other new found fitness passion is yoga. I've joined a rather nice yoga place called Pure Yoga - they seem to have branches all over the region. So I now do one session of yoga a week, and am considering trying to get that up to 2 or even more. I find the discipline, the breathing, and especially the bit at the end when you lie down on your mat, and try not to snore, very relaxing and calming. Which, after getting touched up in my changing room and depressed that I can only bench 80, is just exactly what I need thank you very much.

So....

2006-06-13T14:31:00.000+08:00

Nutshelling this...

- Single (again)
- New job
- Bought apartment
- Still smoking
- Fit as a fiddle otherwise

Well that just about does it... so see you in another 9 months or so.

Not.

I did miss this badly, and come hell or high water, I intend to continue.

So, prepare to repel bored-ers!

That Was The Year, That Was...

2006-06-13T13:56:00.000+08:00

Has it really been a year? Well, almost...

Much to tell, much to write, much to read. It'll take some time for me to get back into this, no doubt, and I am travelling more frequently these days, and frankly, it is all still extremely boring, but it needs to be told.

I'm Back. And I'm Boring...

Back in the Saddle Again...

2005-08-02T10:17:00.000+08:00

Right it will probably take me a few days to get back up to speed, and back to bloggings on the internets. My best mate is still here. I fear he may have moved in! So that is taking up my valuable time.

And great news, in that ESO and myself are back together. Given my noted aversion to TLA's, I should really change that, so in future she shall be known as "P". I can't say it will be easy to make it work, but we are both willing to put the hard work in. So wish me luck! I'm very happy!

Dearth of Posts

2005-07-28T13:41:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys there won't be many posts over the next couple of days. Best mate is in town, and I have taken tomorrow off to do the usual tourguide stuff. Tea at Raffles. Ruby in Little India. Fixing his laptop as the chap is technically inept. All the usual crap.

So I might have some eventful postings for you when I come back!

Thermometer Therapy

2005-07-27T09:26:00.000+08:00

I must be getting more bored than usual.

Last weekend I found myself in Challenger, which is a local IT retail store. Wandering the displays, I looked at all the, frankly, unnecessary things I could purchase. Well I could use a Network Attached Storage, I guess, for backup and media and stuff. Passed on that, had enough issues setting up my Airport Express, so will leave my now-stable-network alone for a while.

I perused the ranks of X-Box titles, a couple caught my eye, but frankly, I need to finish the game I am on (Medal of Honor European Assault - great game, just very very hard on the hardest setting. Naturally), and then go back and finish Brothers in Arms, and then go back and try to finish Ninja Gaiden. So that's my gaming calendar for the next 6 months full then. How sad :(

So in the end, I walked out with every man's must have. Especially in Singapore.

A digital thermometer.

Not just any digital thermometer. This one tells the temperature both inside my apartment and out!

What the fuck was I thinking. There is only one temperature here. It's always around 32 degress centigrade. Always. The weather in Singapore is either:

hot, or;
hot and wet

So why on earth would I need a thermometer? Am I so bored that I am going to sit and watch digital displays hovering around the 32 mark?

Apparently so. I'll have detailed reports for you shortly. You lucky, lucky people.

Rock Bottom

2005-07-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

You can tell I'm scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel when I have to cut 'n paste bizarre news stories, but this one tickled me, so I have to share. I love the fact that he got her pregnant 12 times so his wife had "something to do"!!

Dad of 12 admits he's gay

An Austrian couple with 12 children have split up - after the husband admitted he was gay.

Mum Alina Look dumped husband Hannes after his shock revelation.

Hannes had announced that he was leaving the family home at Graz for another man.

Hannes told Alina he only made her pregnant so she had "something to do".

Alina said: "I received a phone call from a friend who told me she had seen Hannes with another person, she said they had been kissing and cuddling.

"I didn't believe her when she told me the other person was a man, but when I confronted Hannes he admitted everything.

"He told me he had only had sex with me so I would get pregnant and it would give me something to do. I can't believe we had so many children together, my whole life has been a lie."

She has now written a book "...no time to pray" about her ordeal which she hopes will bring in money to support her family in their home in Graz, Austria.

Style And Substance

2005-07-25T17:21:00.000+08:00

While I have been an avid reader of blogs for some time now, this is my first enduring effort to pen a blog myself. There are a few abortive efforts I have left scattered around the 'sphere, but they usually last 2-3 days, and then peter out.

So after a few weeks of writing this, I am starting to realise just how hard it really is to come up with fresh topics on a regular basis. And even harder than that is developing a blog style. I've been checking out some other blogs, and some of them have great, stylish writing. I've been thinking about the lessons to be learnt. So, let's run through a few of them:

STACKED
This guy, as he would put it, is da bomb. In particular, I like the street vernacular, I like the "bullet pointz", and the "phat" ratings are well cool too.

Can he cut it with his homeboy rap? He apparently went to a some pussy school in a so-called rough neighbourhood somewhere around Pittsburgh. Well, mate, I went to a very rough comprehensive in South Yorkshire (which has got to be at least 3.7658 times 'harder' than anything in the US), I had two Pakistani friends (my "homies"), and I was in a breakdancing crew (Really. I was Mr Freeze. Really). And if that doesn't qualify me to speak ebonics, I dunno what does.

So, I don't think I can take much from Stacked and apply it here. I have considered throwing in a bit of Yorkshire, but please, I have lived in London and overseas for the best part of my life, so it would be pretty dumb. Perhaps I should follow Rockson's lead and insert lots of Hokkien swearing, thus being more in tune with my local environment. Unfortunately I have no idea what he is on about half the time, so other than being a source of amusement for the more vulgarly spoken Singaporeans, that's a no go too!

Even so, I tell you right now that if you read nothing else on the internets, ever, you have to read Pat's ode to toast, and his paean to milk. Class, pure class. But fuck, the man is a professional journalist, so I still cut him no slack.

SPIRIT FINGERS
I have no fucking idea why this girl "wants spirit fingers, dammit". I mean, what are spirit fingers anyway? What does it all mean????

The hook here is the scathing, and very funny, dissection of the fashion and entertainment industries. The take on the Friends theme song had me smiling away, as did this piece on Wanko.

Can I use any of this? Well since I don't follow fashion (unless following fashion means not wearing tie-dye), I wouldn't really have anything intelligent or relevant to say on the issue (that goes for most issues by the way). Additionally, my knowledge of celebrity happenings is limited to whatever is in the Straits Times Life section back page when I happen to read it. Since I never read it... well, there you go then.

SEX BLOGS
This covers the whole gamut of blogs from SPG to Hongkie Town (actually Spike intersperses coverage of his sex life with great music and DVD reviews. It's like two blogs in one!) to Belle to Olympia, and probably lots more that I haven't found yet, but really should.

Clearly sex is one of those blog topics that never gets stale. Blog about your latest horizontal expolits and you'll always have the audience begging for more, or so it seems.

Unfortunately this theme is right out the window for little old moi, since I haven't gotten any for months, and won't for the forseeable future. When I started this, I included a metric called the Daily Self Love Quotient. That lasted the whole of - well, less than a week really. Firstly it seemed like too much information for you lot. And secondly, it was just depressing. I mean I thought it might be slightly amusing, but detailing one's onanistic efforts on a daily basis. Well, it's just sad. Sorry. You should never have been subjected to that.

So, this certainly isn't going to be a sex blog.

Where does that leave me then? Well Singabore is obviously not going to be a homie fashionista boning blog, that's for sure. I guess I'll just bumble along in my boring fashion, and perhaps after some time I may find I have slipped into a style, that you can come here expecting something entertaining. Until then, you'll just have to put up with whatever dull shite spews forth on a fairly erratic basis.

But thanks for coming anyway.

Books I Will Never Read Pt. 2

2005-07-25T11:07:00.000+08:00

I'm an atheist. So sue me! Or smite me. Whatever.

Random Quote-O-Matic

2005-07-25T10:32:00.000+08:00

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.
John Updike (1932 - ), Assorted Prose (1965)

This week, I have been mainly watching...

2005-07-24T11:42:00.000+08:00

The Island.

It's not a great movie. It's overly long in my not-so humble opinion (what is it with directors these days? Am I wrong in thinking that a few years ago, 90 mins was about average for a movie? Why are they all 120mins plus these days? I don't get it). So it loses pace at some points, and I was sitting there thinking, ok get on with it man. Visually the movie is very impressive, and it might be worth seeing just for that alone.

The two most remarkable peeper-feasts have to be my current actress-du-jour, Scarlett Johansson, who looks incredible in this movie, and warrants a gratuitous picture:

It also features an ultra-chic power boat from Wally (crap name, great, incredible boat builders). While I am generally a sail chap, I have to say that this little baby is one of the hottest looking power boats around:

My Hairless Kiwis

2005-07-23T11:53:00.000+08:00

I was in the UK recently, and in various magazines I saw this ad, which I thought was a) rather amusing and b) about bloody time.

If you are having trouble making it out, it's two kiwi fruit, one hairy, one hairless. And the product being promoted is the Phillips Bodygroom. A shaver designed for men to trim "wherever you want".

While I don't subscribe to the concept of complete hairlessness, I do think a little judicious trimming is essential for today's man. I'm not terribly hirstute, so we're not talking tufts of chest hair peeking over the collar, or a back rug here. But I like to keep it all shipshape.

It began as a little experimentation about 5 or 6 years ago. The chest hair needed a trim. I was well into the gym and weights at that time, and pec definition looks better without the hair obscuring it. I know. So vain!

But I was not content with that, and attention started to drift south.

So I ended up with the porn star shave. I admit, it seemed a bit odd at first, but hey, if the ladies could have a brazilian or a hollywood, then in the interests of sexual equality, I can get into a bit of topiary trimming too!

It would appear I am not alone. According to the Phillips website, nearly 50% of British men have "had a go".

So I am mystified as to why my friends think I'm a wierdo. They think it's hilarious, and completely unnecessary. My arguments? That it adds that "optical inch", and that it has to be more pleasant for the opposite sex. Doesn't it? No more picking pubes out of your teeth, and am I the only one who thinks a thick bush retains more unpleasant odour?

My initial weapon of choice was a beard trimmer - there was no fancy Phillips product in them days. But even that after a while did not suffice. Instead of a nice smooth finish, it was stubbly. Not the look (or feel) I was going for.

So out came the wet razor. It was a little worrisome initially, but after 5 years of coating my nads in shaving foam it's become second nature. Generally once a week keeps the 5 o'clock shadow at bay. I have let it grow out a couple of times, and now it just doesn't seem right.

If you want to check out a how-to, here you go. Definitely not work safe. Unless you work at Vivid Video that is. In which case, can I have a job please?

Books I Will Never Read Pt. 1

2005-07-23T10:00:00.000+08:00

I'm a book snob. So sue me.

AWOL

2005-07-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

I'm having a bad day folks. Confused, saddened, torn, and I don't want to share I'm afraid. I have a couple of posts on "draft" but can't be arsed to finish them. Hopefully I can tomorrow, but until then, sayonara.

Really Pwn3d!

2005-07-21T15:45:00.000+08:00

Looks like someone hacked XX's blog last night, as reported by Tomorrow.

The only post was this:

"Hi There

I know i have been a bitch,

I know i am a Bitch

If you have any hate mails, please email me at xiaxue@gmail.com

For that, i will die a fucking virgin.

I dont deserve to be loved."

She seems to have regained control now, and is swearing vengeance. Nice little storm in a teacup going on there.

H4Kerz. Love 'em.

Spinning

2005-07-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Once again I am becoming a Spin head.

I first began my obsession with this masochistic form of exercise while I lived in New York. While I was not that into New York, they do have some of the best fitness clubs anywhere - New York Sports Club is mainstream, while Crunch has the more esoteric and challenging classes, and coincidentally the most attractive women.

My mate M introduced me to Spinning. M stayed with myself and K, and was, and is, a male model, currently living back in Hong Kong. Very nice chap, now married with a child. And amazingly fit.

Anyway, he persuaded me to get back into the gym, and we tried all kinds of classes. Boxing (cool). Yoga (harder than it appears!). Jiu Jitsu (looks hard, and bloody hell, it is really hard!). And the very memorable African Dance class (which had us both in hysterics after 10 mins. Two very white guys in a very black class having rolling-on-the-floor hysterics. We exited in haste, and never ever returned).

Eventually we settled on Spinning. Burns shit loads of calories, good lower and upper body workout, and not too gay. Got ourselves kitted out with the heartrate monitors and the cycling shorts (okay those do look gay, but you wear them under standard shorts, and they are essential for preventing arse chafe). And we did lots and lots of classes. Towards the end, we were doing 2 classes a day, 90 mins each.

M left NYC about a year before I did, having failed in his efforts to make his break into the hyper-competitive world of Manhattan modelling. I continued my Spinning, maintaining the pace, literally and figuratively. For the last 6 months before I left, I was on good terms with a few instructors, and was being asked to fill in for them and take classes.

Which I loved doing.

Choosing the music; selecting the format for the class - would it be speed, endurance, sprints, Zen Spin? And then teaching the class, ensuring that everyone was adopting the correct form, all that crap. Loved it.

Looking back, I think this is the teacher in me. On my mothers' side of the family, they are all in education - back 3-4 generations. This generation seems to have bucked the trend - of my 6 cousins and myself, only one has turned to the classroom, while the rest have pursued diverse careers. But perhaps this desire to impart knowledge is part of our makeup, perhaps it's in our genes, in our blood?

Perhaps.

The classes here are not bad. The quality is variable, and they are not the sticklers for form that they are in NYC. But all in all, not bad. I can monitor my own form, thank you. So I am back to 3-4 classes a week, and thinking about more.

And I've been trying to gather the courage to ask if perhaps, maybe, they would consider letting me lead a class.

Perhaps I really need to teach. Perhaps that is my calling. Perhaps that's what I should have been doing all along.

Perhaps.

But the pay is shite. So perhaps not.

Wish I'd Thought Of That!

2005-07-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

Today I was Tomorrowed! And my paltry traffic is now mediocre!

Great headline, I must say. Looks like I've been pwn3d by MB. Thanks squire!

So what will happen tomorrow? So exciting this blogging life!

Things To Try And Say When Drunk

2005-07-21T09:54:00.000+08:00

I plan on testing this very very soon, purely in the interests of science, and so I can report the results to you, dear readers.

Difficult Words to Say When You're Drunk

Specificity
Indubitably
Innovative
Phenomenon
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

Impossible Words To Say When You're Drunk

Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Wonderful to meet you, officer.
I'm not interested in fighting you.

And counting...

2005-07-20T13:37:00.000+08:00

I must be in a politically inclined mood today, but I was watching the news last night (there was nothing else on. TV at the moment sucks. There is just nothing worth watching) and there was a piece about the latest independent casualty numbers coming from Iraq.

The Times has a piece out here if you are interested in the detail.

Anyway, two numbers jumped out at me: since March 2003, an estimated 25,000 civilians have been killed, and 42,000 wounded. And of those, 37% of the deaths or casualties were inflicted by US forces - the highest attributable cause (criminal gangs trail with 36%). Actually that was like 4 numbers, but cut me some slack ok?

A bit of rough maths thus suggests that "US-led forces" - i.e. US soldiers - are knocking off about 350-400 Iraqi civilians each and every month, and wounding perhaps double that.

That's quite an achievement, and great progress in the march towards peace, freedom and democracy in the Middle East. Most impressive.

Two final numbers. The report estimates about 20% of the victims were women and children. That's around 80 innocent women and children each month.

The investments in high-tech military hardware are clearly paying off in spades then.

I also noticed this in the Economist this week (subscription only BTW):

"A CIA report circulated among American government agencies in May, and summarised a few weeks later in the New York Times, spelt out what many experts had already concluded, that post-invasion Iraq is playing the role Afghanistan did in the 1980's and 1990's, as a nursery of Islamic extremism"

Great. Just fucking great. How killing kids and mothers and training a whole new generation of terrorists is supposed to make the world a safer place I have no idea, do you? Can someone fill me in on the plan here?

Blogossip...

2005-07-20T13:11:00.000+08:00

Naturally I am last to the party, but regardless I'll post on it anyway, since everyone else has, and I'm feeling left out.

Seems there has been some willy waving in the playground over at SPG's, XiaXue's and some guy called Kenny Sia (links below). Mooiness has all the goss, and incidentally links to "Why Are You Whorshipping The Ground She Blogs On?" which I love. I love "watch" blogs. Love 'em.

Mooiness nutshells it for us here (which is great 'cos I am too lazy to do this):

Looks like a war has started between XX and SPG (again!) and somehow Kenny Sia got involved too. Why? Because he's supposedly XX's virtual husband and Kenny got some pics taken with SPG at the first ever Singapore Bloggers' Conf - sans top. Woohoo! Yes woop-de-f**king-hoo-hoo I say. A pair of tits in public. I know it's Singapore but what's the big f**king deal?!

Anyway I find it all pathetically amusing. The "virtual husband" stuff, the topless photos, the catfight. Makes me feel young again. Just like kindergarten.

TIDRU 2

2005-07-20T10:13:00.000+08:00

I was at NTUC, which is kind of a nationalised supermarket chain here. Yes, really. NUTC is the National Trade Union Congress (and a 4LA, incidentally), although in reality it seems to be an organisation dedicated to keeping workers under control and docile, as opposed to the usual "we're out lads!" function of a normal trade union whereby they actually represent workers' interests to the management. And they have so many different commercial operations that it functions more like a business enterprise than any union I have ever seen.

Anyway, one of the many pies they have their fingers in is a major supermarket chain, which I do use. While I was "marketing" (we'll come back to that some other time) last weekend, it struck me that instead of the easy listening muzak they generally pipe through the speakers, they were now assailing the shopping public with a non-stop rendition of the national anthem, Majulah Singapura. Slightly puzzled as to this outbreak of nationalistic fervour in the grocery aisles, it dawned on me that with National Day around the corner, NUTC was drumming up patriotism among the fruit 'n veg.

I could not help but imagine a similar scene in the UK, with God Save The Queen playing non-stop in Tescos in the lead up to the Queen's Birthday.

I was having a conversation about Ministers' salaries in Singapore the other day, after the disclosure of the NKF CEO salary. As Rockson noted, it's great to call for more transparency when it is the public's hard earned money being spent. And the same should apply to the government. It's a little known, and hard to find, fact that Singapore's Ministers and PM are the highest paid in the world.

Just for comparison:

1. Singapore Prime Minister's Basic Salary US$1,100,000 (SGD1,958,000) a year
Minister's Basic: US$655,530 to US$819,124 (SGD1,166,844 to SGD1,458,040) a year

2. United States of America President: US$200,000
Vice President: US$181,400 Cabinet Secretaries: US$157,000

3. United Kingdom Prime Minister: US$170,556
Ministers: US$146,299 Senior Civil Servants: US$262,438

4. Australia Prime Minister: US$137,060
Deputy Prime Minister: US$111,439 Treasurer: US$102,682

5. Hong Kong Chief Executive : US$416,615
Top Civil Servant: US$278,538 Financial Sec: US$315,077

Source: Asian Wall Street Journal July 10 2000

The argument oft-quoted here for these high salaries is that it reduces incentive for corruption in government. Well, yes, it probably does. Pay me this kind of money for running one of the smallest countries in the world, and I probably wouldn't have much inclination to risk my job by taking any brown envelopes. But at the end of the day it strikes me as legitimized corruption. We'll pay ourselves ridiculously high salaries, but we won't really tell the people who fund these sky-high sums (the taxpayers) how much we are getting? Hmmmm.

I am rambling here, but there is a point. I was arguing at the weekend that in most countries, public service is seen by those who do it as a civic duty. There is a sense of sacrifice, in that they could probably be remunerated more substantially in the private sector. But they have a desire to serve their country and make it a better place, and are prepared to make that trade-off.

Much is made of patriotism in Singapore. The requirement for National Service is partially justified as a way to build national pride. National Day is a major event here - all HDB's and condos have their flags flying for a month bracketing the event.

And yet to these eyes, patriotism in the government is simply lip service. If they were true patriots, why do they need to be paid 500% more than the US President to run a country with a 1.5% of the US's population, and 1% of the GDP? Surely if they had a real love for their country, money would not matter?

Perhaps I am naive. Perhaps I have an idealised view of public service. But to me, a public servant is just that: a servant of the public. And that servant's worth should be set by, and clearly disclosed to, the public.

And here the sermon endeth. Would love to hear any other voices on the matter, especially if you think the situation is just.

Ringing In The Changes

2005-07-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

In what might be a momentous change for me, I am actually considering a change of mobile phone brands. Actually, in Singapore they are known as "handphones" which always struck me as a bit wacky, since all phones, mobile, fixed line, etc, are handheld, are they not? Although this is likely some direct translation from the Chinese which is completely lost on a linguaphobe such as I.

Anyway, having been a Nokia boy for the last 4 years (before that I had a Siemens: *ptooey*), I am thinking perhaps I can make the transition. I've been road testing (now should that be ear testing? finger testing?) a Samsung D500 for the last few days, and I have to say it is pretty, erm, pretty!

The firmware (software that controls the phone for you neophytes out there) is vastly improved over earlier Sammies, although not quite as intuitive as Nokia. There is definitely an art to UI design, and the Finns still have the edge here, but not by much. Sending an SMS takes perhaps one more step than on Nokia, but I can live with that.

I was never much of a one for clamshells, I found opening the buggers one-handed was too much work - I mean christ, it was like I had to shuck it or something - so this new-fangled slide thing is great! The display is very nice, nice audio, Bluetooth, 1.3MP camera. All in all, pretty tasty.

Having decided that slide is the new flip, and having now been reliably informed that black is the new black for the coming season, the advantage is shifting to the Koreans right now... 'cos I'm a dedicated follower of fashion...

Tin Tellers

2005-07-19T14:01:00.000+08:00

Scary Duck's post on ATM's lifted my foul mood today:

"A man using a cash machine, is like a father-to-son phone call and will only last for about thirty seconds before the transaction is completed. Card – PIN number – withdraw cash – fifty quid* – done.

Women, on the other hand, and like the equivalent mother-to-daughter phone conversation can make this straightforward task last for several hours.

Rummage in handbag for card - card – PIN – forget PIN – look it up in not-very-well-hidden-part-of-diary-in-handbag – PIN – study menu – check balance – select printed balance – study menu – select mini statement – study both print-outs – study menu – select specially hidden girls-only menu – press loads of buttons to no effect until card pops out by mistake – put card back in - forget PIN – look it up in not-very-well-hidden-part-of-diary-in-handbag – PIN – check balance again – withdraw cash – ten pounds – with advice slip – “would you like another service?” – ponder this deep philosophical question as if the future of civilization depends on it – select “show me a nice picture of a kitten” – carry on, forever because I’m in the queue behind you"

But at least he gets the father-and-son phone calls!

I am also confused regularly by the gender gap when it comes to checkouts. Generally as I become next in line to have my items scanned (in this modern day and age, that is), I remove my wallet from my back pocket in anticipation of the need to actually make payment for the items I am buying.

So why is it that women generally do not do likewise? If I had a penny for every time the woman in front get to the cash desk, have their items scanned, the total displayed, and then and only then decide that it is time to rummage in their Tardis-like handbags for their elusive purse.... well, I'd have a few pence. Does it not occur to women that they will have to pay for their purchases? Why does it seem to come as a surprise?

Mysteries of the world, indeed.

Pater Familias

2005-07-19T11:20:00.000+08:00

Having said I don't wear my heart on my blog - well I'm about to do just that.

Why? Because I am angry, and I need an outlet. And sorry, but right now, that's you lot. So forgive me while I vent a little.

I recently got a letter from my mother. It's always nice to get a letter from one's mother, naturally. And I do usually enjoy my mothers' letter, since in the immortal words of Tom Baker, my mum is "top banana, yeah!".

However this letter was really just a forward of a letter from my father. And as I read, I became incensed. I put it down, and relaxed a little, but it has been eating me away inside ever since, and right now I am almost incandescent with indignation (ooooh I am partial to a bit of alliteration!).

Now my old man and me have never had a great relationship. My mother and father were separated when I was two, and divorced shortly thereafter. While I saw my father once a month, or every other month, I lived with my mother, and although her cooking left much to be desired, she did a stellar job on her own (and indirectly caused me to become a deft hand in the kitchen through necessity).

I saw somewhat more of him when I moved to London for university, but not that much more. He, in the meantime, remarried and had two other offspring in his later years. He also took up Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism, which he tried to interest me in, and which naturally I rejected as a load of fucking wank, for want of a more elegant turn of phrase.

While my step-brothers have always been okay with me, I have never gotten on well with his wife, who never seemed to like me anyway. Frankly I didn't really care that much, I don't need to be liked by everybody - just 99% of the population will suffice for now, I'll work on the other 1% later.

I then moved overseas, first to Hong Kong, then New York, and now Singapore. I have been back to the UK reasonably frequently, and each time I dutifully visit my father and his family. I call him most Christmases, I send birthday and Christmas cards, and for signifcant birthdays (65, 70), I send a present (Amazon.co.uk, my saviour).

I've been back to the UK twice so far this year. First time I saw my father alone at his club, (yeah, he has a club. Apparently every buddhist has a club. One of the steps to Nirvana I am sure!), and the following day went to visit his family.

The last visit, I was pressed for time, and suggested that we just meet for dinner. No, he wanted me to jump on the tube for 45 mins and come meet the family. Again. I push for a dinner with the two of us - I had some things to talk about - and he retorts, well, if you don't have time to come out to the family, then leave it. So I did. I left it, stayed in my hotel room, watched Eastenders, and had a grand old time.

Now my mother gets a letter expressing his disappointment that he sees me so infrequently. That he has moved beyond annoyed, and is now just disappointed.

OK that's the background. Can I vent now? This pisses me off on a number of levels:

Leave my mother out of this. If he has an issue, he brings it up with me. See (2) below.
If he wants more contact, pick up the fucking phone. In 15 years overseas, I can count the number of times he has called me on one hand. I speak to my mother once a week.
If you want a closer relationship, how about remembering my fucking birthday, or sending a Christmas card - something he forgot to do the last 3 years. Just how fucking important am I to him? And he has the temerity to say he is disappointed with ME?
Get on a fucking plane. I mean, this is a man who has a private pilots license. He loves planes. My mother has been out at least half a dozen times to see me in various locale's. My father? Never. And it's not like a) it is expensive or b) he doesn't have the money - he just went to the Italian Alps for 3 weeks en famille. And that does not come cheap, my friend.

Anyway, rant over. I've decided to let it lie, and I won't be initiating contact with him. It's not tantamount to cutting off contact, but it's close. I am really, really close. And I sit here and I think to myself, would I really care if I don't speak to him or see him for a few years? And the answer, honestly, is no. I wouldn't.

Random Quote-O-Matic

2005-07-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

"To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)

More Blogs I Like

2005-07-18T15:58:00.000+08:00

I've added some new blogs, so I thought it was time to highlight some more of those I read on a regular basis, and why. Of course it also happens to be a blatant attempt to get people with far more reader than I to link to me. My motives are so fucking transparent, I'd be embarassed if I had any dignity.

So, here goes:

Mia
While she probably won't like this description, I think of Mia as the mother hen of expat bloggers. She definitely puts her feelings out there for all to see, and I have to respect that. And I do hope that before long she finds what she is so clearly looking for. She deserves it. And I hope she then continues to blog about it.

Clublife
Rob's blog amuses me. Having lived in NYC, and clubbed there, his description of the guido nightclub populace is familiar. And I have to respect anyone with that much loathing going on. My favourite blogs are generally those that describe a life far removed from my own, and this fits the bill perfectly. Oh and in a similar vein, go check out his friend Opinionistas. Very well written, most insightful, and proof that law can perhaps be interesting. OK she's not that good. But still. Worth a read.

The Bottle Shop
Unfortunately Late Bland (for it is he...) is an infrequent poster these days. Because his blog is very very funny. Happily for you he has extensive archives, which if you are anything like me means several wasted hours catching up with the story so far. Go check him out, and I guarantee you'll be going back every so often to see if perhaps, maybe, he's posted again. I particularly love his "The Bottle Shop recommendation for today..."

LMD
OK it is not the most dramatic of blogs. But I like the way LMD writes about the little events in her life, and makes them interesting. As a man with very little to write about, I should be taking some lessons from her!

A Tiny Blip...
This was another one of those blogs where I devoured the archive in the space of several sessions, and loved it. He's a great writer, and some of his more erotically charged posts are really very, erm, arousing. Very inspiring.

Rock On

2005-07-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

Have to give a quick mention to one of my new finds, Mr Rockson.

His latest post, "Singapore newspapers is like gangster" is spot on. Unfortunately I don't understand 50% of what he rants on about as it is in Hokkien, but I gather it's all quite rude!

Regardless, I am totally with the man on more transparency:

Now the people want to make the NKF and the other charity transperent because charity is use working people's money one. Maybe next time they will also ask the Gahmen to be more transperent also, because Gahmen is working people choose one. Singapore people now know how to buay song liao, can be quite scary, angry enough can even go and use paint spray the NKF building, rotan also not scared.

Anyway, check him out, he's amusing. So I am told.

Crash

2005-07-18T10:17:00.000+08:00

I went to see Crash yesterday. Excellent, excellent movie. Go see it, you won't be disappointed. Stellar cast (haven't seen Matt Dillon in anything for donkey's years), and while it is a very powerful and emotional movie, it's nicely balanced with some great humour too.

Oh, and....

2005-07-18T09:14:00.000+08:00

...before I move on from last weekend's date, one more thing... towards the start of the dinner, as part of the 10 mins that she didn't talk about work, she casually threw in the observation that she did not eat raw fish as she had very bad diarrhea most of the time!

I mean, come on. Way way too much information for a first date. And over dinner at that!

Check, Check, Check...

2005-07-17T09:00:00.000+08:00

I picked this up from one of my new finds. And was shocked by how accurate this was. Uncannily so. Scarily so.

SEXUAL ASTROLOGY
SAGITTARIUS 22 November – 21 December MEN: Sex is rarely an intense experience with him - he often comes too quickly, but he’ll be the first to try a new position. He is the master of erotic massage - both oral and manual. His tongue can be a wicked instrument and when combined with his lips, creates an explosive effect! Erogenous zones: hips and thighs. And he likes to look at a woman’s calves and thighs, and likes to have sex with a woman in stockings. Best sex mates: Leo, Libra, and Aquarius.

So, let's see:

Rarely an intense experience for him - well blow me down with a feather, but I just blogged about that! So Check!
Comes too quickly - erm, well, Check :-(
New positions - yes, Check!
Good with tongue - Check!, I am told reliably
Hips and thighs - yes, that works. Am a bit ticklish, so upper torso not a great idea. Check!
Stockings - Check! Check! Check!

Dating Disaster

2005-07-17T08:00:00.000+08:00

Last night was not what I would call a resounding success. Far from it.

I'm sorry, but this was just *the* most boring date *ever*. I had suspected that this girl was a little work-obsessed (see previous post) but, well, that was a massive fucking understatement. For 90% of the duration of the date, she talked of nothing else. I heard about her projects, her co-workers, her superiors and their strange habits (juggling? Imaginary friends?), her working hours (insane), and what she had for lunch every day last week. OK not the last one, but I would not have put it past her.

It wouldn't be so bad if she had an interesting job. But she has one of the dullest jobs imaginable. I won't go into detail, but suffice to say that I would rather cut my own head off with a rusty spoon than have to do this job.

So, after 2 hours of nodding in agreement, and stifling yawns, I made my excuses ("Sorry, really tired, not been sleeping well" etc.) and got the hell out of there.

Unfortunately this was not the only reason it was a very bad date. Fate stepped in and dealt a cruel, cruel hand. We had decided to go to the East Coast (I think she lives close by, but am not sure - she was too busy talking about work for me to find out), and as we ate at a rather good fusion restaurant, who should walk by but the ESO (Ex-Significant Other for those who have not been paying attention). Accompanied by friends, she saw me, and fleetingly I thought I saw her, but subsequently dismissed it as a figment of my imagination. I mean, what are the chances? Well, quite fucking good, actually.

While ESO knew I was out on a date, and had given her blessing, naturally it makes it no easier to actually see me with someone else. So, she was upset, and headed to the beach for a sob. While I now feel terrible. I feel like crawling back under the stone from which I came. ESO is so wonderful, and to know that once more I have made her unhappy? Well. Worthless is the first word that comes to mind.

So, in more ways than one, a most traumatising experience. Perhaps someone is trying to tell me that I should just stay at home in the future.

Date Night

2005-07-16T16:44:00.000+08:00

OK, so I have a date. A real live walking (I think) and talking (I hope) date.

I find it impossible to pick up women in bars. Firstly I am quite shy, and can't for the life of me think of anything interesting to say. And secondly I find it highly unlikely that I am going to meet someone interesting while shouting to each other over and drum 'n bass track and imbibing alcohol. And frankly I am just not into the one night stand thing. I've done it, and I just end up feeling a bit empty and a lot shitty the next morning.

Likewise I am not going to walk up to someone in the street/cafe/bookshop and try and start a conversation, since I will just come over as a bumbling fool. I know one is supposed to play the odds, and that if you ask out x number of women, at least some percentage will play along. Perhaps it is my fragile ego or low self-esteem, but I don't think I could handle 9 rejections to get one date.

So, I am left with Internet dating. I know, I know. I guess it still does have a stigma to it, although I think less than it used to. But I can just about handle virtual rejection, the drum 'n bass is optional, and frankly typing while under the influence is not one of my forte's. So for a shy retiring boy like myself, it's a pretty good option. You get to exchange emails, see if the person can put together a coherent sentence, what they like to read, etc., so at least you have some idea of how this person's mind works.

A few no-no's I have seen in the last couple of weeks include:

Women who TyPE LikE THis. What the fuck is all that about? You trying to give me a migraine? Or just got a caps lock problem?
Women who type in sms spk. I can't even do it, so am not about to even try and give you a sample. But please. I can see that it is useful when one is limited to 160 characters, but you have a full size keyboard and the beauty of the english language at your disposal. Just DON'T DO IT!
Women who state their favourite books as romance novels. Sorry. No can do. I mean I know I have geeky taste in books sometimes (a bit of fantasy and scifi has crept into my bookshelf of late), but I can't handle someone who thinks a bodice ripper is a great read.

These ones are immediately eliminated.

I'm on a poorly-known site, to be honest, so there isn't a lot going on. I guess I could go on one of the bigger, more well known sites, but perhaps I am not ready for the deep end yet, and I'm happy splashing about in the shallows for now.

Thus tonight's date. She sounds sane, if a bit work obsessed. She seems nice. She can write a decent email. We'll see. I'm not going into this expecting anything. Frankly, at this juncture, I am more interested in making friends: I don't have many, you see. The ones I do have are either alcoholics, reformed substance abusers, or crippled pot-heads (I am sure the company I keep says a lot about me. But shut up). So I could use some normal ones.

Give Now!

2005-07-15T17:58:00.000+08:00

My favourite blogger, Jason Mulgrew, is running a donation drive. So, even though I am too stingy to donate myself, I encourage you to do so on my behalf, and I in turn will claim credit. Thank you and God bless.

Bert's Relationship Advice

2005-07-15T15:14:00.000+08:00

This post amused me... a snippet...

I'm gonna go with bert on the idea that i'd stick with a dumb stupid annoying bitch of a woman if she's hot. I've done it before.. You just learn to smile, nod, and pretend to laugh.. It gets old fast, but damn that sex is good. Plus the dumber she is, the easier it is to get your ways. And dumb chicks are easy to shop for. Something pink, glittery/shiny, small, non-sharp or pointy edges, fuzzy, or that refers to royalty or some sort of woman with power or a rich dad. Really if you think about it, this list pretty much works. Walk into a store, find something a dumb chick likes, and check the list. It most likely fits a few of those. So all in all, she might be worthless except for sex and as your personal trophy. But in the end, if she "loves" (or understands what that really means) you or really cares about you back. It's a simple relationship to keep people happy. Ready for my win all argument?
Jessica Simpson.. Just think about it... Watch that show, look how dumb she is, and how her husband deals with it.

But then I am easily amused...

Jet Setter

2005-07-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

In yet another masterstroke, I have now booked another trip on Pussy Air, this time to Chiang Mai. Only S$80. Gotta love that! And I am staying here, which, in the words of the great Jamie Oliver, looks sweet as, mate, sweet as.

Here's hoping they have that tarp, massage and baby oil eh? Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions on what to do in Chiang Mai, well, please suggest!

TLA in Trouble!

2005-07-15T12:28:00.000+08:00

NKF (National Kidney Foundation of course!) is in the shit. And it's about bloody time if you ask me.

For those not in the know, it's the largest charity in Singapore by a long, long margin. I have no idea why kidneys in Singapore need such generous attention, but they are always, always, having telethons for NKF where mediocre 'stars' do 'amusing' 'stunts'. So they raise shed loads of money. Absurd amounts. And they then sit on this money. Well, in fact they hand it over to local fund managers, who then generate mediocre returns but sit on large management fees.

As part of this court case, it has been revealed that:

- NKF has sufficient reserves today to meet the needs of Singapore's kidneys for the next 40 YEARS! Forty. If they never raise a penny more, they are good until 2050, approx. By which point we will all have had bionic kidneys for decades, as well as binoic vision, bionic arms that make 'ehehehehe' sounds when we lift cars, and the ability to run in slowmo. Can't bloody wait.

- The boss of NKF, one TT Durai (hey, a 2LA spotting!), is a complete cock. He launches a defamation suit against the Straits Times (a.k.a. the government), who then turn the tables on him and reveal his luxuriant travel practices (first class, no less!) and a rather chunky salary and bonuses, as well as gold plated taps in the exeuctive bathroom (tacky, tacky...).
And, icing on the cake, the fact that under his stewardship, the charity has misled the public over its expenditure and needs in order to raise more money (40 years worth, see above). What an incredible error of judgement. Taking on the government mouthpiece in a defamation hearing? When your surname does not start with an "L" and end with an "ee"? Are you nuts?

Of course all the SPH newspapers (i.e. all the papers you can buy in Singapore in ANY language) have devoted acres of coverage to this, transcribing entire court cross-examinations. They are having a field day. 3-4 pages devoted just to one court case. Probably a special Sunday Magazine on it this weekend. And a book no doubt. Perhaps a musical shortly? Who knows, it couldn't be much worse than the Yellow Wellie Man's musical.

Anyway, some amusing reactions from local celebloggers (celebrities + bloggers, geddit?) here, here.

That Pointless Waste of $$$...

2005-07-15T12:06:00.000+08:00

...that is Haloscan. So it was only $12, but still. My comments disappeared for a while, and I have never figured out how trackback works - it seems incredibly fiddly. My advice? Don't bother. Stick with the Blogger comments. They work fine.

Apology

2005-07-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

Would like to quickly apologise to Spike and the Self-degrading Specialist for possibly implying something that never happened. Just posts in common, that's all. Sorry.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

2005-07-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

OK three sex posts in a row. That will suffice for a while, as I am getting overly excited. So I am afraid we now resume more humdrum posting services...

First in a long running series, I hope. Well, at least until next Tuesday. And in the spirit of the post, we shall name thee TIDRU, or Things I Don't (Really) Understand.

TIDRU: TLA's
Singapore has a love affair with TLA's (Three Letter Acronyms). If it is at all possible, then something should be shortened as a TLA. Sometimes a 4LA. Rarely a 2LA, but it has been known.

Some examples: each (rather short) highway/motorway in Singapore is known by a TLA. ECP. PIE. SLE. BKE. I am not sure that many people know what the motorway TLA's actually stand for anymore.

Singapore recently shunted Lee Kuan Yew from the Senior Minister post (SM) to the Minister Mentor post (MM). Prime examples of the somewhat rarer 2LA.

I am starting to wonder whether the next step will be to speak entirely in acronyms. ('HHAYT?' 'IFTY' 'DYRTP?' 'WTPOS? NFW!' - 'Hi, how are you today?' 'I'm fine thank you' 'Did you read today's paper?' 'What that piece of shit? No fucking way!').

I shall start practicing in preparation for that great day when the Straits Times proclaims "Singapore First in World to Speak Entirely in Acronym's! Productivity Boosted by 2 Man Minutes per Year!'. And of course we can look forward to the "Speak Good Acronyms (SGA)' campaign. Grrrreat!

Anyway, as a public service I am going to make it a mission to seek and identify the more esoteric or just downright freaking stupid TLA's I can find. Stay tuned. Or not. As the case may be.

Blatant Plagarism

2005-07-14T10:43:00.000+08:00

What follows is an almost criminal rip-off of Jason's classic Choice Cuts posting. But hey, I'm lazy. What is beyond doubt is that I will never be as funny as Jason. Nor will I ever have his capacity for alcohol, cheese products or masturbation. Although the latter is the most feasible.

Anyway I was over at Men's Health checking out their recommendations for free weight exercises (is it not the mark of the newly single man that we hit the gym with a vengeance, striving for the six pack and the big guns we so neglected before?), and this caught my eye.

"

Getting bored with checking out bicep exercises, and arguing over the best way to achieve toned muscle (I was right, damnit!), I thought, hello, let's 'ave a butchers shall we?

And it's wierd. Check this out:

Andrea, 27, editor, New York, NY
Make her wait. "I finally got into bed with this amazing guy who I assumed would devour me whole. Instead, he took off my clothes, sat on me, and spent about 45 minutes tracing the outlines of my body with his fingertips without saying a word. I was hypnotized with pleasure--then he left! This made him not only totally sexy but totally sensual, which is much harder to achieve."

Hang on. He left? He sat on her, spent 45 minutes poking her with his fingers, and then LEFT? He's got this woman apparently gagging for it, and he's got something better to do than finish the task at hand? Loser.

Elizabeth, 30, attorney, Washington, DC
Make her pucker up. "I had this boyfriend who would hover above me, gliding his lips over mine but pulling back the second I'd lift my head up to reach his. He'd do this over and over, almost kissing me but not quite. It was so erotic. It made real kissing much more powerful."

Is this her boyfriend or her personal trainer? Sounds like an interesting and innovative way to encourage crunches. Or maybe I should stop reading Men's Health.

Karen, 34, sales executive, Los Angeles, CA
Make her sticky. "I came home from work one night to find our bedroom lit solely by candles. My boyfriend had spread a plastic painter's tarp over the bed and onto the floor, and he'd covered it with massage and baby oil. I was shocked but intrigued, and couldn't believe that he'd taken the initiative. Armed with that much oil, you're able to do things that you never imagined. Trust me."

Now I am famously anally retentive, and all I could think of here was how to clean up afterwards. It sounds dreadfully messy. It's so hard to get oil out of the bed linen, surely? However, if I am ever, ever in a hotel room, I am leaving that evening, and they have a painters tarp, and litres of massage and baby oil available, I am doing this one.

And, thinking about this further, it would be even better with a willing partner.

Cecilia, 24, student, Austin, Tx
Make her melt. "After the first time we slept together, my man came back to bed with a plate loaded with four ice-cream sandwiches, two caramel ice-cream bars, a bowl of French vanilla ice cream, a pile of chocolate-chip cookies, and a glass of milk. Our clothes were scattered all over the room, we were still a little sweaty, and we sat naked in the center of his big white bed licking cookie crumbs from our fingertips. It was decadent and sexy and unforgettable."

Fuck man, is that enough dairy for you? Three varieties of ice cream and a glass of milk? What are you trying to do to this woman? You might wanna sleep with her now, but continue in this vein and you'll be running scared from a 150kg dairy monster.

Oh, and crumbs? In the bed? In a big WHITE bed? What are you thinking of?

Doing It Kinda Properly

2005-07-14T10:06:00.000+08:00

So just to clarify things, before you all go thinking I'm a sad fuck who has crap sex (I am actually the sad fuck who has NO sex), I have had good sex. Great sex, indeed. Just not earth-moving, headboard shaking, screaming to god kind of sex. I dunno, perhaps it is the restrained Englishman in me (and by restrained, I mean somewhat inhibited, not handcuffed).

An acquaintance once put forth to me his theory of sexual gratification: it essentially involved him only being concerned with his own sexual pleasure, and not caring one jot about his partner. This way, he explained, he extracted maximum pleasure. And if both parties did likewise, he continued, then each would achieve utmost gratification from the congress.

Well I am not sure (a) if that is a valid approach or (b) if I could really do that anyway. Sex for me has always been first and foremost about the pleasure I can bring to others, not my own. Although that might be where I am going wrong.

Doing It Properly

2005-07-13T18:14:00.000+08:00

"I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly."

Now, I have to say that I have said, and will continue to say, that sex is overrated. Does this really mean I am not doing it properly?

I mean, I am pretty sure I am. Put it in, shake around a bit, ejaculate and clean up. Simple right? Well okay I was being facetious. I would like to think that I am a considerate, inventive and sensitive lover. I know for sure that I can make my partner very satisfied.

So why do I find it overrated?

I have never had mindblowing sex (except for solo of course!). The earth has never moved for me. I certainly enjoy the act, and I enjoy my partners enjoyment of the act.

But the terra firma is still stationary.

Is this another case of my being indoctrinated by the media? Movies where couples have incredible sex, and scream each others' names in the throes of passion? Or am I really missing out on something here? Is there something I should be doing differently? Or am I just not doing it with the right people? Help me out here!

Has your earth moved? How was it for you? And how the fuck do you do that!

One of Those Days

2005-07-13T17:52:00.000+08:00

It's been one of those days.

Bob went on a bender again (I would call him Bob the Bender, but that just makes him sound like a raving queen, so I won't), and didn't turn up at all for work. What's new there eh?

External vendors are fucking everything up, delivering shoddy results - and these chaps were my recommendation, so am trying to manage the fallout from that.

I am now QA'ing a website which has so many errors I don't know where to start. Somebody in this office (yes, I'm looking at you, Jim) has no fucking idea where countries are located, in spite of the fact that I gave him an atlas. So the Baltic states are now Norway, Sweden and Finland apparently. They will be pleased! Thailand is in China now, and the Thai's may not be so happy about that. And Hong Kong is in Japan, which was where I always thought it was, what with the Hello Kitty fetish and all that.

Speaking of which, I heard from my ex-ex today, who sent me a quick note to reassure me that Mishka was doing fine, and loving New York. I have images of him downing Cosmopolitans and doing huge lines of coke now. Lucky kitty!

Anyway, K (the ex-ex - keep up with me now!) was a model in Hong Kong. Yes, one of those. We had a whirlwind romance, moved in together, moved to New York together, and then had a tornado breakup. Making up metaphors as I go along here.

K had a Hello Kitty thing going on. Hello Kitty pencil cases, Hello Kitty mirrors, combs, you name it. This was a grown woman. A grown Western woman. I had a hard time with this.

Rapdily the Kittiness escalated. Next was the Hello Kitty toaster (the one that toasts images of the famous feline on your morning wholemeal). And then, the piece de resistance, the Hello Kitty credit card.

The Kitty Card became her credit card of choice for going out. Which in a way was good, 'cos she was eager to use it to show off her Kittyness. In another way bad, since it was crushingly embarassing.

At least it was in Hong Kong. When we moved to NYC, well, it became quite cool. Even in ultra-hip joints, bar staff and wait staff would coo over the cute pink Kitty Card, ask how they could get one, and so on and so forth. Kitty was the epitome of cool in New York!

However the limelight could not last long, and after a spree of several months, the cold hard reality of credit cards hit. Aeon (for it was they who brought this abomination to Hong Kong) cut off the card, and K was left with a pretty pink Kitty Card that could never be used in public. Oh and a court summons.

K now lives in Manhattan with a lovely Burmese cat, and is 33 years old.

I Believe...

2005-07-12T18:59:00.000+08:00

I finished Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" recently. Gaiman is the author of the acclaimed Sandman graphic novels, which I have to admit I have never read: my brush with the graphic novel ended around the time of The Watchmen and Dark Night.

Anyway, great book. Strange, inventive, darkly humourous.

One passage stuck with me, and I wanted to get it down for posterity, as well as address one aspect of this in a later post:

"I believe that Mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in a impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it. "

Great stuff eh?

Care Package

2005-07-12T14:29:00.000+08:00

Got a nice little care package recently. Two boxes of this:

While isn't quite as tasty a brew as one gets back home (something to do with the water, I am told), it is a vast improvement over Liptons. Leave the bag to steep for a while, and it's so strong you could stand a spoon in it. Now, all I need to do is get a regular supply of Yorkshire water shipped over, and bob's your uncle!

Bloggage Removal

2005-07-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

I've removed Mental Blog from the blogroll. I've no idea what passed between Spike and MB, but whatever it was it seems to have precipitated some fairly drastic action.

Am also removing The Accidental Blowjob. This salacious blog got off to a great start, and I was looking forward to discovering the origin of the title. Alas, the blog has not been updated for 2 months, and thus I will never know how one can be fellated unintentionally.

I shall endeavour to find replacements.

Email gossip to the usual address please - mrsingabore at gmail dot com.

Expat Armchair Politicos...

2005-07-12T10:34:00.000+08:00

Amused to see Spike and some Texan-who's-blog-I-can't-be-bothered-to-read-since- I-instantly-dislike-the-chap, go at it over Iraq and Bush. Hey, a year ago I would have gotten incensed, but as I wrote here, I can't be arsed any longer.

Yes, the bombings in London pissed me off, but so did the IRA bombings in the 70's, 80's and 90's. It always frustrated me that much of the IRA's funding came from North America (which I don't see the Texan getting annoyed about). Yet the US government did nothing about it while we were fighing terrorists on the streets of our capital, terrorists armed with weapons and explosives paid for by US citizens. Oh the duplicity! I don't recall any GWOT being prosecuted at that time, do you?

Anyway, all I can say is that if the Texan feels that strongly that the war is just and worth fighting, he should get off his arse and out of Asia, and sign up to fight in Baghdad. He's seems to be of the right age, so where's your patriotism, boy? Or are you doing your bit for your country by fucking around in Asia, eh? Apparently the services have a recruitment shortfall, so come on lad, put your money where your mouth is, FFS.

I'll Be Back

2005-07-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

Okay I am slowly slinking my way back into the blogosphere, give me a little time to come up with some amusing (or just downright boring) anecdotes and musings. I apologise for the hiatus, and I am not sure anyone is still reading anyway, as my stats are way down. Anyway, expect more boring tales shortly.

Blog Block

2005-07-06T10:05:00.000+08:00

I know this was quick, but I can't think of anything to blog about at the moment. Will be back when I have something interesting to say. Good to see Spike back, and he seems fired up too!

Mishka

2005-07-05T14:15:00.000+08:00

It's been a time of losses. Not only have I lost the ESO, but just 2 months ago I returned my lovely cat, Mishka, to his mum in New York. Anyway, as I can't think of anything else to post today, here are some pics of one of the most affectionate Burmese cats I have ever met.

I miss you Mishkin. Hope you are having fun in NYC. Take care...

Americorp.biz's Finest News Source

2005-07-04T19:46:00.000+08:00

Continuing the SF theme (I'm so happy!), The Onion runs a wonderful "2056 Edition" of their satirical ezine. Unfortunately the language selector is non-functional as I was dying to try it out in Hexadecimal Mandarin.

In particular, check out the plea for a Fourth Law Of Robotics:

We Need a Fourth Law Of Robotics: Stop Fingering My Wife

Class.

Arguably, the best...

2005-07-04T14:47:00.000+08:00

...science fiction series ever was Farscape.

I now have all 4 seasons downloaded (thanks my trusty Bitlord, I pledge my alleigance to you, sire!).

I have been watching some of Season 1 on the lappy, but frankly it's not the same. So, I need some advice (Shaky?). How do I get AVI DIVX onto a DVD that will run in a bog standard region free DVD? Shaky?

Committing Blog Sin #1

2005-07-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

Nicked shamelessly from The Fifth Column, I just thought this was hilarious:

The Truth About Alcohol

I came across this pamphlet at ampm last night. It has some very important things to say that I think everyone should hear.

Like many of mankind’s greatest inventions, alcohol was discovered accidentally. In the case of alcohol, it was stumbled upon by two lab workers too awkward to express their true feelings for one another.

Today, alcohol is still primarily used to facilitate the hooking-up process. However, when used irresponsibly for this purpose, alcohol may result in children or - in extreme cases - even marriage.

There Are Three Distinct Stages of Intoxication

1) Chatty
- You become smarter
- You become funnier

2) Touchy
- You lose your inhibitions
- Articles of clothing mysteriously vanish

3) Catatonic
- You pass the hell out
- Coma or death may occur

The Risks

In fact, as strange as it may sound, there are actually risks involved with alcohol use, including:

Making Poor Life Decisions

For example, dreadlocks on a white guy.

Saying Things You Don’t Really Mean

Encountering Laser Ghost Cars from the Future

Alcohol Abuse Inevitably Leads to Hangovers

This is no cause for concern, however. Simply remain in bed until the hangover symptoms subside.

Millions of Adults are Actually Nondrinkers

These people are either:

1) Lonely

or

2) Losers

We hope that these facts have increased your understanding of our old friend alcohol. If you enjoyed this pamphlet, please look into our other educational materials, including:

Aspirin: The Silent Killer

Brrr....

2005-07-04T09:39:00.000+08:00

Very grey and wet morning today, which has put me in a real funk. It was actually cold this morning: I got out of the shower and was shivering! Now that is unusual in Singapore, I'm generally hotter than a fireman's armpit here, and my main challenge is keeping cool. At times I long for the arctic aircon of Hong Kong, so I can drag out my snorkel parka.

All About Bob

2005-07-03T19:05:00.000+08:00

We'll call him Bob. Bob the Mason.

(Which brings to mind a recent Private Eye cartoon with Bobski the builder. "He works so much harder! And for less!")

Bob is a borderline alcoholic. What am I saying? Borderline? Bob is way south of the border, heading for Tijuana in a beat-up convertible, coked-up, a bottle of mescal grasped in one pudgy hand, other arm around a skanky ho. Bob is out of control. Bob is a mess, frankly.

I like Bob, I really do. I count him as a good mate. And like many people with similar problems, he is a very very clever chap. I help him run a smallish company here with Bob and one other partner (who for the sake of this tale we shall call Partner 3), and in general, it goes pretty well.

Except that Bob sometimes does not turn up at 9am. Or 10am. Lunchtime? Nope. If we are lucky, mid-afternoon. Unlucky? Not at all.

He's been on a bender. He'll pop off for a beer at the local bar nearby at 6 or 7pm. By 8pm he's chasing the beers with a JD & Coke. And he keeps on going until the wee hours. He's been known to be at local coffee shops at 7am nursing a bottle of Tiger. He knows all the late-closing bars in Singapore, it seems. And can he drink. He's the alcoholic Energiser Bunny, he just keeps on going. I'm pretty sure that Four Floors is included regularly somewhere in his itinerary, but I have never tried to keep up with him that long. I'll be home and in bed by 11pm. Lightweight that I am.

This does get him into trouble at times. He's definitely not a violent drunk, but he can be overly friendly, which just pisses people off sometimes, and they get physical. He's been in a few brawls, therefore.

And as a result of the drinking, he is very overweight. Well that's putting it politely. He is in fact a fat bastard.

So it was surprising this week when he came into the office bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and extolled the virtues of the gym in his condo. He'd been Sunday and Monday morning, and this was it, this was the turning point, he would go every day, and no more drinking, no more late nights, it was down to business.

Partner 3 and I voice our support briefly, look at each other, and simultaneously roll our eyes.

These 'health binges' tend to happen once every 6 months or so, usually with a minor panic about a stroke, heart attack, etc.

Monday night comes and goes. Tuesday he is in again bright and early, loudly discussing incline and speed characteristics of the treadmill.

Eyes are rolled.

Tuesday night, and we wait expectantly. Will this be the night he breaks? Will this newly minted wagon keep on rolling, or is this the night the wheels fall off again and he heads south of the border?

His friend rings. "I'm going to meet Max, but only for 1 hour, and I'm having spritzers."

Eyes are rolling all over the shop now.

11pm. He returns to the office. "Can I borrow $300? We're just going for something to eat".

All this eye rolling is making me sick.

Suffice to say that the next morning we get a call about 10am.

"I went to the gym this morning, and after the treadmill I don't feel very well. I'll be in later".

Right-o then.

WTF am I doing?

2005-07-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

I just spent 2 (two!) hours in the kitchen making both a huge fish pie and an enormous baked macaroni and cheese (with bacon and tomatoes). I have no idea what I am going to do with these, except try and eat as much as I can over the next 3-4 days. Why I started this I also have no idea.

It's true that I probably watch too many cooking shows (Jamie Oliver, Keith Floyd, Nigella Lawson, even those two very annoying Australian chaps on Discovery Travel and Adventure), but this was just out of the blue.

Anyway I now have enough food to feed a very small army. It is all looking and smelling fantastic, thanks to Delia Online. I tell you she is a genius. Follow her instructions and you can do no wrong. The moment she brings out a sex manual, I am buying it. Especially if it involves her recipie for bread and butter pudding ;-)

Ooh, maybe next weekend. With vanilla custard!

How have I lived...

2005-07-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

without one of these little puppies?

OK has been a bit of a bastard to setup, as had to setup a MAC address for it in the wifi network here, which necessitated a bit of fiddling around.

But now, oh, how cool! My main hifi (incidentally my very expensive hifi) which is almost never switched on, will now be on permanently so I can stream iTunes to it. Great!

Literally however as I am writing this post, I'm getting outages, which I can only assume is due to network usage. For the first time this afternoon! Agrh!

Restarting iTunes seems to sort that out. Hope that is not a regular occurence.

Wordplay

2005-07-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

If, like me, you have a thing for words and etymology, can I recommend World Wide Words? I was just using it to look up "fell swoop" (which has Shakespearean roots it seems - the company I keep, eh?), and it's such a great site for checking out those phrases that we all use, but have no idea where they come from, or why they mean what they mean! For example, "Bob's your uncle".

Anyway it's going in the linkypoos section.

If you want to get really nerdish about it - and I often do - this is another great resource.

Grrrr...

2005-07-02T11:44:00.000+08:00

You have got to love Tiger Airways.

After the ESO went to Phuket with a friend, and stayed at this hotel we had picked out, it all sounded so nice that when I went to the website today and saw the cheap, cheap flights to Phuket, I thought what the hell. Since my weekends are so dull anyway, I might as well be bored and boring somewhere different.

So, September I'll head off for a long weekend. And the flight is only $90! Combining my love of travel with my love of a good bargain in one fell swoop. Nice!

Now, can I get a cheap flight to Hanoi in August? We shall see.

War of the Worlds

2005-07-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

I went to see the new Spielberg/Cruise blockbuster last night, and I have to say, it's pretty damn good. It's definitely a movie made on a more human scale. Unlike so many movies of this genre, it's not about one man taking on the aliens and saving the world. Cruise is just one man trying to save his children. Visually impressive, great cinematography. Acting is so-so, although Tim Robbins does a good turn. Anyway, it's definitely worth seeing.

Heavy, Heavy Rotation

2005-07-01T17:45:00.000+08:00

Dearth of posts today, I know. Sorry, very busy.

New find, if you like David Gray I heartily recommend:

James Blunt
Back To Bedlam

For obvious reasons, this song stands out at the moment. It moves me to tears. I am not going to make a habit of posting lyrics on this blog, as frankly I think it's a bit naff. But forgive me now for being a bit naff. Actually, I am a bit naff, but there you go eh? Everyone should own this album. It is truly amazing.

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Hmm. Ultimate in Self Love?

2005-06-30T16:27:00.000+08:00

“Our Dutch Wives aren’t just inflatable sex dolls,” said Hajime Kimura in his Forest Of Dolls shop in Tokyo, “they’re elegant latex mannequins that a man can have a real relationship with. For 45,000 yen, you can have any of our beautiful life-size models delivered to your hotel room, then picked up again next day. They arrive dressed in your choice of wig and costume and have realistic skin texture, although they are rather cold to the touch, so we suggest warming them up in the bath first, before you start playing with them. Most men rent a Dutch Wife because they don’t want to risk catching a disease in a brothel. Mostly, they want company while they’re watching adult movies, but some like to photograph themselves acting out their fantasies. We’re currently renting out 150 dolls a month from this shop alone, with a monthly turnover of 3 million yen, and that’s about average for our forty shops nationwide.”

Sex therapist Kim Myung Gun added that, “Most of the people who hire these Dutch Wives aren’t otaku (geeks), they’re ordinary salarymen in their thirties and forties. It seems that more and more men are losing their desire for real women. So rather than have sex with a woman who doesn’t fulfil their expectations, they prefer to play with something that corresponds to their fantasy, even if she’s not real.”
(Nikkan Gendai, 16/4/05. Spotter: Robert Harland)

Courtesy Private Eye...

I've ordered two by the way. Indulging in a little fantasy of mine ;-)

Confessions of a Former Blogaholic

2005-06-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

You know, I still read a lot of blogs. Some are becoming proto-blogmates, some I just admire from afar, and most will probably never acknowledge my tiny little niche on the web. I like to share my finds with others. And many of them I read daily.

But this is nowhere near as many as I was reading last year. Nowhere close, not even in the same continent, same country, same city, let alone same ballpark. I was out of control. My name is Mr Bore, and I was a blogaholic.

(Hello Mr Bore!)

I have to think that last year was an anomaly. Since, for the first time ever I found myself being very concerned with the state of the world in general, and specifically, politics. Very specifically, the politics of one GWB. POTUS.

And so I read blogs. Political blogs from across the spectrum. From Instapundit to Daily Kos. From Powerline to Atrios. From LGF to TPM. I never commented. I just lurked, read, got angry, got upset, got downright mad. Agreed, disagreed. I would head over to read Charles, become incensed, and then have to head over to Josh to have my anger assuaged.

I must have spent 2-3 hours each and every day reading them. And in the lead up to Nov 5th 2004, it was a complete rollercoaster. Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Rathergate. Military Service records. The debates. The daily polling results.

The day itself. The initial hope. The anticipation. And then the final result.

And then? Well, I switched off. I think I probably visited the blogs for a couple of days after the 5th, just to see the reactions -the despair, the crowing, the soul searching, the triumphalism.

But after that, I never went again. I broke my addiction. Went cold turkey, and not a tremor. Not a pang. I just didn't care anymore.

(I just visited them all in order to link-farm. Didn't even read one post!)

I really didn't care anymore. These days, I don't care what happens "over there". If something apocalyptically bad happens, then I'll probably watch BBC World for a couple of hours, shrug, say what a shame, and check if Fawlty Towers is on BBC Prime. I just don't give a fuck.

Why should I?

That's not to say I want it to happen, before someone gets all uppity. Just that if it does? Well, okay. Bed. Made. Lie. In. It. Something like that, anyway.

(Pot. Kettle. Black. sounds so much better, no?)

Prime Time!

2005-06-30T13:58:00.000+08:00

Finally! The day is nigh!

The BBC's international entertainment channel BBC Prime is set to launch in Singapore on StarHub Digital Cable. The launch is expected to take place by the third quarter of this year.

BBC Prime brings viewers in Asia a varied selection from the BBC's entertainment and drama portfolio, including Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, Silent Witness, Dalziel & Pascoe, Casualty, The Weakest Link with Anne Robinson, What Not To Wear, Top Gear Xtra and Top Of The Pops.

Woo Hoo! Top Gear Xtra! TOTP! all I am missing is Eastenders!

Sleep, glorious sleep!

2005-06-30T08:04:00.000+08:00

Finally a decent (read 5+) hours sleep. Boring post I know, living up to my namesake, but it is so frustrating when I can't sleep, and 3 hours was really not cutting it. And my coffee intake was getting a bit insane. So I am so happy now! Just hope it continues to improve!

On the downside, work is a nightmare, I seriously miss the ESO, and the weekend is still 48 hours away. Sigh.

New Blog Find

2005-06-29T10:23:00.000+08:00

Further to Mia's post on Richard Whiteley's untimely demise...

Good god Richard Whiteley's dead

I didn 't even know he was ill.

Pneumonia, apparently.

Nine letter word, pneumonia.

So if you were, like ON Countdown, you'd be really chuffed to get 'pneumonia'.

But not in this case.

Bit sad really. I was quite fond of the Whitelester.

I wonder if they'll play the 'countdown' at his funeral, as they're lowering the coffin or something. Dumduh-da, duh-da! dumduh-da, duh-da! Doodle, doodle, diddly doo! Poooo...
I think that would be nice. Fitting. I would quite like it at mine.

He always seemed like a nice man, Richard Whiteley, and always with the bad jokes.

Bye bye Richard.

Doodle, doodle, diddly-doo! poooo!

(slightly more respectful piece can be found here)

I am very impressed with the written interpretation of the Countdown clock.

All courtesy of my new blog find, Little Red Boat. Check her out, great site, very amusing.

Another post that made me smile:

Can anyone tell me...

Why google's logo twist thing of the day is a man in a hammock and a dog smoking a ginormous spliff?

Is it 'legalise cannabis for housepets' day again?
Is it the birthday of Howard Mark's dog, 'Howard Barks'?

Hang on, in grabbing that image, I notice it's called 'father's day'. what has father's day to do with the weed?

Seriously, does anyone know why the dog is happily smoking the reefer?

Thank you Little Red Boat for brightening up my day!

Haloscan? Humph!

2005-06-29T10:16:00.000+08:00

Haloscan seems to be giving my gyp. I have tried to manually fix the loss of comments (thanks for the tip Mooiness) to no avail.

So have ended up making them a $12.00 "donation". Seems more like extortion to me, as they are holding my comments hostage!

2005-06-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Haloscan

2005-06-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

OK added Haloscan, it was so easy in the end!

But I lost all my comments :( So everyone who left one, please type them in again. Thanks!

Of Infantilism, Blog Celebs and Spats

2005-06-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep last night, again, so I was all over the place. For a while I wound up at Xia Xue's blog, a locale I rarely find myself visiting. For good reason!

Now I am sure she is a perfectly nice girl (girl is the operative word there), but what seems to be the most popular blog in Singapore, written by the most high-profile blogger in Singapore (newpaper articles, endorsements, etc), consists mainly of mundane posts about eating and shopping out with her mates, the occasional throwaway bitchy comment, and masses of photoshopped images of herself.

I just checked, and according to the 2004 Weblog awards, Xia Xue wins best Asian Blog. And this is by vote. And she won 61% of that vote. That is, well, just sad.

So I have watched the spat-at-a-distance with SPG, Xia Xue and readers of all ilk with some interest. More for what it represented about Singapore blogging than the actual spat itself.

There are some blogs that I really enjoy in Singapore. I have long admired Mr Brown's SNE series; it's amusing and incisive. But it's hardly hard-hitting, and like many Singapore blogs these days, seems to have jumped on the blogging 'perpetual motion machine' - blogging about meetings of bloggers.

But it is Xia Xue's popularity and in fact celebrity that got me thinking about the state of blogging in Singapore. This topic has been tackled before at Singabloodypore, accusing the majority of Singapore bloggers of being infantile, and Steve got quite some flak for it. Since I am decidedly low profile, and at least for now seem to be ringfenced in the angmoh/gweilo paddling pool, I can and will comment with impunity, I think!

Am I rambling? Perhaps. Onwards!

So why is it that in the US, UK, even HK, the top celebrity bloggers (say Glenn Reynolds, or Andrew Sullivan, or Belgravia Dispatch, or Hemlock, or the now defunct Gweilo Diaries), all author serious, politically inclined, informed and opinionated blogs. And yet the top blog in Singapore, nay, the top blog in Asia (and I can only think she was elevated to that position due to some major campaigning by her fan base), is more concerned with make up and shopping expeditions than with the Iraq war, Live8, or even CPF cuts or ERP increases, to bring it closer to home. Just take a look at the 2004 Weblog awards and you'll see what I mean.

I know the reasons. Political discourse is not permissible. The public should not be involved in topics that our Out of Bounds (hence our infamous OB markers). Those who step out of the boundaries are censured, or threatened with defamation law suits, the standard tool of institutional intimidation (a la A*Star and AcidFlask).

Which brings me, in a very circuitous fashion, to SPG. I wrote about her blog recently. And you know what? I applaud her. It doesn't mean I am any more favourable towards the content of her blog, but by god that girl has balls. Perhaps she didn't realize the storm of negative media coverage she would receive, but having received it, she has shouldered her way through it, and stood tall and proud throughout, never backing down in the face of relentless press (i.e. institutional) criticism. She recently opened up her comments, prepared to face her critics head on. Ballsy. My hat is off.

So she's not talking about the Iraq war or ERP charges, but IMO she's doing something perhaps even more important. She's taken on the social conservatism of Singapore, and faced it down. And what can they do now? Very little, it seems. Of course there is a whole other post (or several!) about the hypocrisy of Singapore's so-called social conservatism, but I'll leave that for another day when I'm in a bad mood.

So, when it comes to the 2005 Weblog awards, my vote goes to SPG. As should yours.

More Pics...

2005-06-28T14:37:00.000+08:00

From Europe...

Colosseum in Rome....

Street life in Barcelona...

Church with ducks (!) in Barcelona. Holy ducks?

Recent Pics

2005-06-28T14:34:00.000+08:00

Some recent pics from my trip home to Yorkshire:

Up in the Dales...

And in a very English garden...

Heavy Rotation

2005-06-28T11:47:00.000+08:00

Currently in heavy playlist rotation:

Jem
Finally Woken
Fan-bloody-tastic. Bit of Dido, bit of 60's and even 50's flava! I really really like this at the moment. Can't get enough of it in fact. Highly recommended. Jem is a real gem - it was begging to be said, no?

Athlete
Tourist
Okay so it's yet more Brit Rock, but the album is solid. Good stuff

Coldplay
X&Y
I have some issues over some of the lyrics, as they do come over as a little trite. Rumour has it the wifey (Gwyneth) helped out here. Next time stick her in the kitchen/bedroom where she belongs, Chris, and keep her well out of the studio, eh?

More to come... have to dash...

Sleeping

2005-06-28T11:36:00.000+08:00

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting to sleep that do not involve hot milk/alcohol/vigorous exercise? It seems to be 4am these days before I drop off, only to have to rise at 7. It's getting a little tedious to say the least!

I forgot to do yesterday's summary, so a combined one today:

Daily Self Love Quotient: Five in the last 48 hours or so. Mental!
Cigarettes: Zero
Exercise: Can't deal with it on a Monday. About to go today!

Haloscan

2005-06-27T14:14:00.000+08:00

Anyone got any thoughts on installing Haloscan? Any major benefits that would make it worth my effort?

Duller than thou...

2005-06-27T10:19:00.000+08:00

I have to admit that this takes the crown as the dullest blog out there. I will have to content myself with being the dullest in Singapore, or possibly SE Asia at a stretch.

Dull, but droll.

Check it out if you haven't seen this already (sorry, this is probably old news to most, if not all, of you!).

Spy vs The A-Team

2005-06-27T09:33:00.000+08:00

Stay with me, this may take a while...

Back in the day (way back in the day in fact) there was a magazine called Spy (Spike will know this, I am sure). I used to buy this religiously from a little newsagent in Soho (London, the original, naturally). I would traipse over there several times a month, as the arrival date was generally quite vague.

Spy was arguably the best satirical magazine out there, ever. Private Eye provided the original template and inspiration, but Spy was very creative, with some great articles and fantastic typography. It helped if you had an in depth knowledge of US politics and celebrities, but hey, I didn't (that much) and I still loved it.

The magazine closed in the mid-90's, sadly. I just checked on eBay and there seems to be a thriving market in back issues, and I am sorely tempted, but they would just end up stashed around the loo, and slowly disintegrate. So maybe not. Have also tried to find some of their classic articles on the Web, but sadly, nothing going (have to admit that it was a very lazy, cursory search. If anyone finds anything, post it!).

Anyway, the point of all this?

Well, I found this great piece on Stuffo, which reminded me of all the reasons why I loved Spy magazine. It's very similar to the style of journalism on Spy, and it made me laugh, so I thought to share it with you, dear readers.

The article is based around the classic show, The A-Team, which I believe is now being made into a movie. Stuffo go and post this ad on Craigs List LA:

The responses are hilarious. They go on to list all the emails and responses they received, after which they mail out detailed questionnaires. You can read the whole thing here.

My absolute favourite is this classic response:

I really really want 26 back issues of Spy Magazine now. Hey, only US$12.50. And it's my birthday in, erm, 6 months time! Go on, you know you want to!

Please?

More Dead Trees

2005-06-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

So I couldn't resist forking over more money to Borders. I did manage some degree of self-restraint, given that the new Neal Asher book, Brass Man, was out in large format at 40 odd bucks. But I can't bring myself to pay that much for a book, when in 3 months it'll be out in standard paperback at less than half that.

So I ended up with:

American Gods
Neil Gaiman
Great reviews, have not read any of his stuff before, but it seems to be pretty dark fantasy, but not of the swords 'n sorcery type (of which I can only stomach Lord of the Rings). I have a penchant for Sci Fi, which I try to temper with a healthy balance of modern lit (and I have been known to dip into chick lit at times - I thought it may help me understand women. Vain hope.

Case Histories
Kate Atkinson
I have read a couple of her other books, and wasn't massively impressed, but this was all over the place in London, and the reviews are very good. So I'll give it a go.

Mental Mentor

2005-06-26T12:48:00.000+08:00

While writing the last post, I had Channel News Asia on the TV (why I don't know, it just was, alright?) and they were "interviewing" Lee Kuan Yew. I say interview, I have rarely seen such a sycophantic line of questioning. LKY would not last one minute with Jeremy Paxman or any real journalist. How these interviewers can have any self respect for their professional conduct I simply don't know. In much the same way I used to wonder how Straits Times journos could have any respect for their work, until I realized that most of them were ex-ISD, and thus not actually journalists at all! So no worries, really.

Anyway I could go on about LKY, legalized corruption, nepotism, eugenics etc forever and a day, but you might as well go to Singabloodypore and read all about it there, since Steve does a far better job than I could ever hope to do, and he lives far enough away from these sunny shores to hopefully not feel any repercussions. Although judging by some of his more recent entries, distance may not help!

Was just looking at his site, and "Singapore Rebel", the film effectively banned in Singapore recently, is to be shown at the Malaysia Film Festival. How ironic!

Hungry?

2005-06-26T12:20:00.000+08:00

I am. Have been thinking about food all morning!

One of the blessings of living in Singapore is the choice of food. There are some fantastic things to eat. So today I am trying to decide:

Din Tai Fung: great little dumplings with the soup inside, and fantastic noodles in a beef broth. Simply yummy. But a long queue, usually. So perhaps not. I hate waiting around, can't do it.

Fei Fei: my favourite wonton mee stall in Joo Chiat. The noodles have gone downhill recently (they used to have fantastic handmade noodles) but it's still good, and the chilli sauce rocks!

Wonderful teppanyaki stall at Bugis - they do great beef and seafood teppanyaki - the beansprouts and greens are amazing. Whoever knew vegetables could taste so good? There is also Beard Papa in the vicinity, who make these fantastic warm chocolate valrhona chocolcate cakes - you know, the ones with the runny warm chocolate inside. Orgasmic.

Tori Q - number of locations for this, but I fancy going down to Orchard and dropping some money at Borders. So the one downstairs at Tangs, possibly. They have great Yakitori - their chicken balls are amazingly tasty, and their pork and asparagus sticks are pretty damn good too!

Right I am ravenous now. Time to make a move soon, and get out of the apartment. No sunshine today, which means no tanning by the pool. I call it tanning, but in fact it is more a process of going pink, and then looking stupid for the next day or so. Why I do this is beyond me. But I do. However it is overcast today so I can spare myself the self-inflicted indignity today.

Will go and check out Downfall later if I can get a ticket. I always feel like a bit of a loser going to the movies alone, but I really want to see this one, so will bite the bullet...

Daily Self Love Quotient: One this morning. Nice!
Cigarettes Today: Zero
Exercise Today: Come on, it's Sunday! Give me a break!

Today's Tome

2005-06-25T15:06:00.000+08:00

Watching the English

Picked this up on my last trip to the UK, as I thought it could be rather handy to understand what I do and why. Fascinating and very amusing! Anyone English should read this, as it is spot on, and also quite cringe-worthy. The section on eating peas is particularly amusing (no, I am being serious here). Anyone dating an Englishman should read it too, as they might understand us a little more. Mia? Helen?

Blogs I Like

2005-06-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

I've been reading other people's blogs for ages - it appeals to my voyeuristic nature I guess.

Some of my regular reads include:

Jason Mulgrew
Very amusing tales of a young, overweight, lovelorn chap in New York. I love Jason's self-deprecating style. Works really well, although wish he would post more often! And he's now famous, with a spread in People magazine. Blog Celebrity indeed! Very amusing read, and I wish I could be that funny!

SPG
I think I read SPG's blog more out of disbelief than anything else. I've been reading her for more than a year, and at each read I find it hard to understand her motivations. Clearly she suffers from low self-esteem issues, and she never seems to learn from any of her frequent mistakes. Young and naive she may be, and certainly her latest much-publicised faux pas demonstrated a massive lack of judgement, IMO. I'm not usually judgemental about other people's lifestyle - live and let live - but I have to say that I am not impressed. I am not sure why I continue to read: it's like watching a car accident in slow motion.

Spike
I like Spike's blog. Having lived in HK for a few years in the 1990's, most of the places he speaks of are familiar. I can't say that my life in HK was similar to his: I was not big on the Wanchai scene, but I knew many of the venues - amazed that Dusk till Dawn is still in business! Certainly his tales are a veritable feast for the voyeuristic (me!) in much the same way that Shaky's early postings were. Given that Shaky seems to have gone steady, Spike has taken up the mantle, and is doing a very impressive job too! Spike's musical and video knowledge seems to know no limits; most impressive.

Everyday Stranger
Helen's writing is wonderful, I love that she is so open with her audience, and willingly reveals her innermost hopes, fears, loves, failures, everything. Everything. I aspire to be as open as she is, but perhaps it is the famous Englishman's reserve that restrains me from so doing. And she lives in such a cute little English village, with a cricket pitch! It's almost enough to make me want to go home. I want to watch a local game with a pint and a ploughmans!

More to come soon.... or click on a link on the right and find out for yourself. I'll try to keep adding as I find.

Single Saturdays

2005-06-25T12:59:00.000+08:00

OK as a newly single person (I am NOT going to get all Bridget Jones and use her terminology here) what does one do on Saturdays? I am at a bit of a loss. I guess one day of the weekend will be spend in town, doing some shopping, but now that the usual trips to shoe shops/Mango/Zara etc are eliminated, how long will that take me? As men we have quite strategic shopping habits. Generally the item is already earmarked, the research has been done (if a big ticket item, such as any electronics), all that remains is some negotiation over price and delivery, and hey presto.

So my trip to Orchard would include Borders, Apple, Surface and Kinokinuya. Maybe a quick browse at Best Denki. So about 60-90 mins top. So what to do with the rest of the day?

Of course now I can indulge in my new pastime, blogging. But, bore that I am, not enough interesting things happen to me to write more than 1-2 posts per day. And even then I am scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel.

I guess the X-Box is going to get a lot of usage for now. Any game recommendations? Medal of Honor European Assault, Ninja Gaiden and Brothers in Arms are currently in rotation. All of which are annoyingly difficult at the moment. Or perhaps I am just crap!

Since LMD seems to be intrigued, I must continue my regular update:

Daily Self Love Quotient: One last night, one this morning. Back on track!!!
Cigarettes Today: I had one. Now I have to get the nicotine out of my system again. What a complete cock I am!
Exercise Today: Swam 20 lengths this AM, and will get some weights in this afternoon. Now I know what to do with my weekends!

My Mate's a Mason!

2005-06-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

Okay, so my best friend here in Singapore is a Mason. Second Degree. WTF does that mean?? He has tried to describe the whole background to this and it's clear as mud. Can someone explain? Does anyone know anything about the Masons? This all started when we were discussing the Knights Templar - as an aside I should say that I will never, ever read The Da Vinci Code - and how the Knights Templar are related to the Masons.

I should really tell you about Bob. Bob is my best mate here in sunny la la land. He deserves several posts of his own, so we'll leave it for now. Suffice to say he's English, and borderline alcoholic. So lots of fun basically. As you meet my mates you will realize that I'm the only sane one in this bunch.

Interrupt> New Jack City is on Cinemax. Now this movie is one of my old time, let's get very stoned, and pretend to be niggers, kinda movie. A classic. A totally underrated classic. I own this on DVD, but now on TV, I have to watch again. Am I my brothers keeper? Cash Money Brothers. Does anyone else know this movie out there? Spike, I am assuming you do. If you don't like it, then you should! End>

Right, back to Bob in the next post, or at least sometime soon. See ya later....

And my thanks...

2005-06-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

... to Spike for the second comment today! And for giving me the opportunity to get all Jehovas about Allen Carr's stop smoking therapy.

What a welcoming bunch of bloggers you all are! I strongly suspect that I won't get any more comments for several weeks, will get disillusioned, and thusly litter blogland with yet another stillborn effort. As usual...

Still, thanks anyway!

Not in Phuket

2005-06-24T12:13:00.000+08:00

So the ESO (ex Significant Other) is in Phuket.

We had tickets to go together, to what looks like a very nice new hotel:

So lomantic lah, yeah?

Anyway, in light of our relationship implosion (which you will note I have not gone into in detail here, and not sure if I will), going together was clearly not an option.

But since Tiger Air does not refund, rather than waste the tickets she has gone with a girlfriend. So I am left in Singapore, all on my lonesome. It's one thing when I know she is in town, another thing when she is a few hundred km away.

I guess one of the hardest parts about a breakup is the "instant loneliness". Just add water! One goes from being with the ESO all the time, to not at all. And with no replacement therapy.

All my fault, but I don't have a strong network of friendships here. As we get older, I think it's harder to make friends - perhaps I have become more intolerant, and suffer fools less gladly. Perhaps I'm just not very sociable.

So I am gathering about me instead my Billy No Mates props. Books. iPod. X-Box games. Blogs. Magazines.

And, strangely, I seem to be using this opportunity to purge myself of some bad habits. No cigarettes now for a week. Likewise no booze. What's going on?

However, the Self-Love will always remain. It's not a vice, it's a virtue! And I'm damn good at it!

TGIF

2005-06-24T12:04:00.000+08:00

What a week that was...

What with general lack of sleep, fuckups all over in the office (people resigning after 2 days on the job, that kinda shit), and just a piss poor social life, this week has been hell on wheels.

However my Friday has been enlivened with my first ever comment. Thank you Little Miss Drinkalot for de-flowering my site! And if you don't know what Self-Love is, then, erm, I am not about to go into graphic detail. Just use your imagination, okay?

Speaking of which:

Daily Self Love Quotient: None since Wednesday night. WTF is going on!!
Cigarettes Today: none. It's been 7 days. Allen Carr actually works. And I'm even enjoying it!
Exercise Today: Been every day this week. It's raining today and I think I will skip it, I'll go tomorrow dammit!

It's Been a Hard Day's Night

2005-06-21T09:56:00.000+08:00

I should be sleeping like a log....

But of course I'm in the office mainlining caffeine and trying not to snap at people. I don't operate that well on minimal sleep.

Have plans for a couple of posts today, but we shall see whether I can function long enough.

Morning all!

2005-06-21T02:19:00.000+08:00

2:19am and cannot sleep. I hate this!

Just.... keeping.... eyes.... open....

2005-06-20T15:05:00.000+08:00

Went to the gym, so that was mission accomplished there. 45 mins of cardio and some freeweights. I'm back!

Saw the Ex Significant Other (ESO perhaps?) at the gym, which was nice. We're getting on well as friends. I will have to go into this at some later juncture, but not right now - it's all a little raw, and bugger me sideways if I'm not completely knackered.

So, in short, I can't be arsed right now.

However, I can spare some time for a whinge.

rant
Why do they not have ANY airconditioning at China Square? Or if they do, why do they not use it? I go to the gym, head there to tar pau lunch back to the office, and depsite the cold shower at the gym I am sweating like a rapist in a convent within a few minutes of getting in the place. Are you so fucking tight that you can't spend a few bucks on the aircon? I can't tell any difference between outside and inside. Sort it out, you fucking lightweights!
/rant

Must Have Sleep

2005-06-20T10:53:00.000+08:00

Jet lag sucks. We all know that. I was up until 5am or thereabouts, and in the office at 8:30am. Caffeine is the only thing keeping me going now...

Things are crazeee in the office! Without going into too much detail about what I do, it combines creativity (temperamental artists) with software developers (anally retentive introverts, for the most), resulting in wholly unpredictable results on a daily basis. Added to that mix is the fact that most of them are kids - average age I would say is around 25 - so getting anything done around here is akin to the famously evocative image (to me at least) of herding cats.

These guys have to be managed on an almost hourly basis. They have no idea of project management, no idea of timescales, and no sense of urgency. Maybe it's just me, but in other places I have worked employees worked around the clock, slept under desks, and generally did whatever necessary to get product to market on time. Except in Singapore. It all seems very lacksadaisical here. I mean I should be used to this by now, it's not like I'm fresh off the boat or anything! But it still amazes me how laidback everything is, how there is no urgency. Why is that, I wonder?

I'm actually quite getting into this blogging thing. I've tried a few times to start something, so there are a few other stillborn projects out there with my name to them. But I hope I can keep this one going for a while longer.

Enough for now. Later peeps!

Oh and "yeah. but no. but yeah" Little Britain. Love it! Please watch it.

Daily Self Love Quotient: two this morning very early. Good going!
Cigarettes Today: none, so far. Allen Carr conquers one more day!
Exercise Today: none, but heading to the gym for lunch. Wish me luck!

I love towels!

2005-06-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

This last trip was fairly gruelling, with a schedule that included a few European cities as well as London. I thus did not have much time for frollicking, except one evening last week.

This particular evening started at a trade show in London, where I ran into a very very old friend of mine. An old friend that I had pissed off considerably about 15 years ago. The story is long and involved, and so, dear readers, I shall not go into the minutae. Safe to say that he was not a happy bunny 15 years ago.

Well, time heals all wounds, and it would seem that time, assisted by beers, had done so in this case. Strangely we have both ended up working in a similar industry, which given the industry is damn small, is odd indeed. Of course he is doing far better than I, but such is life.

So, a fair few beers were imbibed, and then a few more. Closing time came around, and we mutually decided that although a good time had been had by all (well, all 2 of us), we no longer had the stamina of 15 years ago, and it was time to call it a night.

I staggered into a taxi, out of self same taxi at the hotel near Paddington, and up and into bed.

Now, my excuse is that I had only stayed at this hotel one night previously. Let me state that firstly. It is a weak excuse, I will admit.

At 3am I awoke with the urgent need to visit the bathroom for a pee. Very urgent. So up I get, open the door to the bathroom, and lo and behold. I find myself in the corridor.

Hang on, I think to myself. This can't be right. I turn to open the room door to find the bathroom, which is becoming more and more urgent at this juncture. Naturally the room door has closed, and is locked. I try again. No joy. And no key with me. I'm in my underwear for christ's sakes!

Two issues now. One, I am locked out of my room in only my underpants. Nice underpants, but still. Two, I need to piss. Really, really need to piss.

Clearly the only way I was getting back into the room was to go to reception and get a key. In my underwear.

As male readers will know, a full bladder often makes everything rather rigid. In fact, glancing down at my quite wonderful underpants reveals that things are definitely in a very tumescent state. Not to brag, but it is VERY noticeable.

There is absolutely no way I am going to stride across the reception hallway in my underpants sporting this baby. No way.

At this point I am lurking furtively in corridors, my slightly inebriated mind trying to concoct some cunning plan that would get me out of this mess with the minimum of embarassment and ridicule.

I spot a Staff door. Hmm, for the maids, I think. I open it, and yes, it is so! My salvation comes in the shape of fluffy white hotel towels. However, wrapping one around my midriff still does nothing to hide the effects of a full bladder. It's still there, mocking me. Of all the times...

Handy, these towels. Throw a couple in the corner and it soaks up a lot of urine. Not the most sophisticated solution, but hey, I never claimed to be a sophisticate. Now, with things in my underpants back to normal dimensions, I calmly take the lift to reception, stroll across the marble to the front desk, and sheepishly ask for my room key. Sporting one towel wrapped around my midriff, and one draped over my shoulders.

Towels. It's the new black, dahhling!

Back in La La Land

2005-06-19T15:08:00.000+08:00

So, here I am again. I got back to Singapore last night, after the last ten days in Europe. Which was nice.

So let me tell you a little more about me. I'm a white chap living in Singapore. I'm rather dull, with not much going on in my life. Of course that means that I might not have much to post about on this blog, but I'll try to choose the among the very few entertaining experiences and share them with what is likely to be a miniscule audience, if I get lucky!

I did recently (we are talking weeks here) break up with my long-term girlfriend of almost 4 years. So I am a bit saddened. Doubtless more will be forthcoming on this subject, although I shall try not to bore you with all the sordid details. Perhaps writing this is a cathartic exercise, but I won't dwell on this too much, I hope.

Daily Self Love Quotient: one, this morning. But the day is young!
Cigarettes Today: none, so far. Go Allen Carr!
Exercise Today: none.

Hello World!

2005-06-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

Erm. That's it.

Going well this, isn't it?